Archive for March, 2009

Up and Down, Registry Cleaners Reviewed

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

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Registry Cleaner Reviews

We all have frowned upon a slow starting computer, have gritted our teeth when the computer freezes, and we all have thought “why can’t this go any faster?” if you look online some place in any search engine on how to make your computer run faster. There is a 99.9% chance that you will see the words clean out the registry some place in bold on the page. Most sites will list some programs, but can they really get the job done, or are they like my dentist who slightly screws up even though he’s all shiny and sparkly? Let’s get comparing and find out!

The free one…

This type of registry cleaner may at first seem a bit like a new carpet. Very awesome until you actually start to use it. These types of cleaners usually cry out one message to unsuspecting people in the world. “I’m full of advertisements!” look at me. Yes it’s true that you can put this type of cleaner to work and make it work your way sometime, but don’t expect to be patting it on the back and giving it ice cream for a job well done. A lazy person would be best friends with this type of cleaner. Some cleaners often only catch one thing at a time, and not getting a whole bunch of stuff. What that means is that you can have fun all day pressing the scan button if you wanted to, even after it is done scanning.

It also seems like you using it is just a waste of time as well as a waste of space on your hard drive. Usually, on the newer computers after you get done using it, the cleaner I mean, your new computer that you just spent a whole seven minutes on cleaning out the registry still goes as slow as Brittany Spear’s brain. Yes, they do work, in fact, some do better than they paid ones, but it’s not worth combing the internet for, especially when you have better things to do like cleaning out your virus vault.

Paid to misleading.

This type of registry cleaner usually takes up the whole screen, and more computer space then a full suitcase may take up on a plane. Sure they look all flashy like hopped earrings but can they honestly do what they are supposed to do? In most cases yes, but you have to bribe them a little.

You will be fighting some ad wear with these kinds of cleaners too, but there’s something else you will be fighting with as well. False positives. These things are actually quite dumb when sniffing out imperfections in your hard drive. Why, even my dog could sniff out Trojan horses better than some antivirus programs, but that’s beside the point.

Some are also just obviously overpriced for only half the work and more features. Some just even do the exact same, or less, of what they’re supposed to do. It’s kind of like an expensive camera. It has tons of features but it ranks high up on the useless scale along with my sink.

Some programs do actually live up to all the and ware they hide on your computer, but at least, for me anyway, when I used a dozen of these, my computer in fact seemed to be getting quite slower. Some registry cleaners will even clog it up even more than what it claims to do, so keep your eyes on the memory. If it’s as big as my ego, which is in the thousands range, then you don’t want to get it at all.

Overall, registry programs are okay in my book. They don’t want to make me go on the Oprah show and boast about them but at the same time, I guess some can be useful. It’s kind of like a good significant other. Get lots, and I do mean many opinions before making a commitment. Again, overall, it seems to be prettier than more powerful. If I want to clean out my computer, I just format it.